Executive Function — Day 9 — 30 Days of Autism Acceptance

lichen growing on the trunk of a tree

Messy Organization that is Lichen

I’m not really sure where this is going.  Just like all of them.

This morning, I was thinking (don’t really remember when) about how important my understanding of executive function is to my day to day life.

Yesterday I had planned on working, and because I had planned to work, it was difficult when I got to the end of the day and I really didn’t manage to do any work at all.

So, that bothered me.  But then it also was OK, because it was just what happened, and I didn’t just “goof off” or anything silly like that (not that there is anything wrong with that, because sometimes the goofing off is exactly want you need to be doing).

It was that yesterday was a “cleaning day” and despite the fact that for that very reason, I had planned on actually working on other stuff.  Or at least spending some time hanging out and streaming just because that was what I was wanting to do instead.

So what I ended to do with that was getting involved with the cleaning.  There are a few things that happen with the cleaning that mean I usually don’t want to get involved with it.

The most important thing is that most of the things the cleaning lady likes to use to clean, are things which I am sensitive to.  I have been sensitive to them ever since she started cleaning here.  So, it’s not like it’s something new.

Another thing, is that I find that I get hugely overwhelmed socially by her.  This is something which becomes a bit of a problem because it’s really hard to address.  Just hearing her over in some other part of the house is really difficult for me.

Specifically yesterday, she fails to understand just what it is that she is doing, or where she’s going with me that is causing problems for me.  I tried to tell her, but after repeatedly being unwilling to understand that I’m trying to politely to tell her to stop talking to me when I can’t process what she is saying at the level she is expecting me to, I lost my patience, first deciding to just walk of, and then on a second case, to tell her that really my opinion is not all that important.

Now that is why yesterday ended up “failing” for me.  But a lot of those things happen anyway.

Today, I was working with some stuff, and just actually feeling pretty productive with that because when I use the tools that I put in place most of the time it works much better.  I want to do another update on the Medication Log, and the Bullet Journal in general.  Those will be towards the end of this month of events, and maybe “beyond” the end of this month.

I know that I have been working with it, some things are “failing” other things are working fairly well.  Mostly what is failing is some days I am not really managing to look at things as well as I would like to.

So, I think that this long rambling post, is more what this is supposed to be.  It is a bit of a sense of how my mind works when I fail to really give it enough “constraint” to get it nicely on track.

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