Littles and Caregivers — Post Followup

This has not happened before (that I can remember).  Today I am writing about a very recent post due to the response I have received from it.  First off, I’m going to post a short video which triggered my desire for writing this response post.

Well, first I’m going to point you back to the original post on Littles and Caregivers, which is worth reading before going any further if you haven’t already looked at it.  So now you are back, I want to post that video that indirectly lead to the sense that I need to post a bit of a followup.

I was asking one of the creators I supported (note past tense) about this video.  This creator has setup a Patreon post which she was asking people to pose their questions about consent, and I asked for her views on this particular video in connection also to the post I provided above.

This creator implied that I was trolling (used the word, implied is probably too mild, stated is a little to strong, as she didn’t come out and say that it was trolling, she said it “felt like it was a bit of a troll” or something to that extent).  Which I felt was a very good place to really think that something needed to be responded to this video.

My asking her was a bit of a question of where I wanted to go with my response to this video, but I’m not sure I really want to go into that, or what I felt about the response I received in that live blog (with other comments as well).

Someone was posting about some other (but related topic) and using poor language (I often do) I was told “Please don’t compare, this is not a competition” and I responded to that with a sense of “I appreciate this is not a competition, and I understand your response to this, but I also want to point out that what you are doing is language policing which is something that you probably disapprove of” to which the person responded by deleting their post (and my responses).

This is part of the “admit your mistakes” type thing that I really feel very strongly about.  I know that I often find that I do not do a very good job of doing that in many cases.  One thing I very rarely do is take a post which I wrote and received negative comments, or more “corrective” comments and delete it.

This apparently is a very unusual thing to allow yourself to do.  I know that part of why it is unusual, is because when a person who wants to present a given view of themself, writes something where that view is to some extent tarnished by that post, they will rather remove the post, than correct their behaviour regarding this, or appologise publicly, while keeping the old stuff there (and linking to it ideally).

I did make mistakes, and I don’t believe any of those mistakes around this are publicly available, most of them have to do with this particular live blogging event.  I believe the whole thing has been taken down.  I have dropped my support for this creator.  And have moved on.  I am not entirely dropping support out of spite.

In fact, I think the “spite” aspect is pretty limited, at least in terms of the reporter, but in terms of Patreon, and banking, and a number of different things, part of my concern of dropping is the sense of my supporting people who are not supportive of me, who have significant support already, I don’t see why I (who have a hard time making ends meet right now) should support them financially.

Another creator, who I am not currently supporting, but am following, has been very supportive lately, which I really appreciate.

So, I guess here is where I am at with the thing.  I have not received direct response to my post which has been negative.  In fact, I have had some very positive responses.  I have had several people respond very well to it.  This response that I received which is negative is actually a response which is to the community (ABDL, CGL, DDLG, et cetera) which allowed me to write about the effect that community had regarding my “littles”.

In fact, I believe that the journalist didn’t even take a look at my post, but rather the video.  And my having posted the video.  I still am not entirely sure of my response to the video, as for me, from a neurodiverse perspective she says some troubling things, but I believe that there are some very good reasons for that (I think I will do a full response to the video in a separate post).  The problem I have had with how this has ended up working out, is that the video and a number of other things have lead to some very negative responses to myself, and to this community.

Which of course, LittleLoliKat (the video in question) has made a very big point of making clear that they are indeed quite possibly the majority of the reasons that she is posting saying that people should not present this stuff in public.

Now…  About those other responses.

A couple of different people have responded to it from personal experience of this (either first or second hand) as well as one person who responded and felt it was well done, who I know experiences this, and who I have seen it in person with.  Also, out of this (and another thing) I have also been talking with various people about sexuality, and specifically about my personal asexuality.

I have talked with a variety of people at various times about this.  I don’t know how often I have had someone actually (in the context of conversation) actually say something about my being asexual.  I know that I have talked with some people who have said outright “you can’t be asexual because of …” and I realize now that those people really don’t understand “orientation vs. action”.

A man who has sex with men, is not necessarily gay.  To some people, that concept is foreign to them.  “Of course they are gay”.  But really it doesn’t mean that.  Though it usually points in that direction, and in some cases, there are men who have sex with men, who don’t identify as gay due to internalized homophobia.  They can’t “accept” that orientation, because it is “sinful” but they know that they are interested in that kind of activity.

You can’t really answer those questions for others, though you can maybe see things and start looking and start asking.  “If you had the choice between: cake and sex, what would you choose?” or whatever.  Cake every time.  Well “I’d rather have plain oatmeal then sex” is the answer I checked on the asexual quiz that I did.  So, perhaps…  I am?

So, while the response to the videos, and the problems with them, has been really upsetting to me.  It was what brought me to allowing the littles out (apparently they are mostly hiding again, and I don’t blame them).  I am not involved in the “sexual” aspect of it.  At least I have no interest in being involved sexually period with another person, and most certainly not in this context.  I would like a romantic relationship, or “primary” relationship where the littles feel safe and can come out as they wish, when they wish, within the context of the relationship.

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