Littles and Caregivers

Hello, this is a bit unusual, and it may be not safe for work, or triggering.  I will talk about experience of littles and how to “caregive” our littles.  So I am inserting a “more” tag here.  I may share stuff straight from the littles…  There is some “adult” content.  Continuing means you consider yourself to be adult.

Oh Thursday this past week, I was chatting with someone on Mastodon.art and they were asking if they should set up a ko-fi, so I decided to check it out.  In checking out, I spotted someone who was listing themselves as ddlg.

I wasn’t really sure what that was, or myself (the “big” here) really wanting to go to find out what it was.  So I kind of ignored it for a bit.  Then “something” said “check that out”.  So I ended up checking it out.

This may be a bit in the “weird” space for many people, because what it stands for is “daddy dom/little girl”.  This is a “kink” community for the most part, though the broader community isn’t necessarily sexual.

While, I prefer not to think too much about the sexual stuff (will need to talk to people about that before sharing more about that aspect).  I started to explore this space and what I could find, and I managed to find a good amount of stuff on YouTube, which some of it was really very much adult, but most of it was low key in that sense.

I found someone who really prefers to use a more generic (and I agree on this on so many levels) cgl for “caregiver/little”.  This language is a lot less likely to cause problems such as “gender issues” or “age of the littles” or “strong implication of sexual relationship”.  I really liked what this person was saying about that, and to some extent about their concerns regarding youth in the community.

So that stuff kind of took place over a couple days, but I also want to talk about other stuff which was happening over the same time.  I can’t really say things in a really literal linear fashion as, the two (or maybe more) threads are sort of independent.

So, in exploring this community, I was feeling that I really wanted to do stuff for myself along those lines.  I started looking into what I would be able to do for myself, and I realized that I could get myself a binky which I haven’t had one in ages.  I know that a regular “baby pacifier” is not exactly ideal, but it is a reasonable place to start.

Now you may think that I’m really talking about the kink aspect of that, but it really isn’t that.  While the kink aspect isn’t entirely absent, I think that is not vaguely the most important part.

Here I am going to go into parts of this that I’m not entirely sure how best to express.  I will try to not be too confusing with this.

I am a person “with littles”.  I know that a lot of people I know have a reasonable context for what that means.  By “littles” I do not mean children (not even fur babies) but other aspects of me which are much younger.

I think that there can be a lot of reasons why people can develop them.  I have met several people through my life who have littles themself, and usually have only found out through experiencing their littles “coming through”.

Generally the littles will not present in an obvious way around people who they don’t consider to be safe.  And what I mean by “present obviously” is stuff which has a distinct sense that you are facing a “different person.”

I am not aware of any time when my littles have come out to that extent, in part because when I think that it has been with a safe person and they have known, it has been when that person is presenting little, and there are no bigs to keep us safe if we fully go little.

Pretty sure it is more a matter that my “bigs” are too scared to let the littles play together unless they know that it will be safe to go there.

So that was a bit of what I was saying, and I think that the writing I did in “little space” earlier today I will share here.

Writing Part 1

Start of Writing

Caregiver Little

In Little Space

Yesterday (Thursday) when talking on mastodon.art talking about ko-fi.com

Writing Part 2

Second Part of Writing

Ko-fi is a crowdfunding site

Looked at site and found someone say they are ddbg and looked to see.

Bigs scared about going back to little space.

They lets us play and look at stuff about littles and find other littles.

Writing Part 3

Top of writing second page

Some we no like. Others we think good littles.

We think about rules.

Writing Part 4

Middle part of writing, (rules).

  1. no let bigs be mean
  2. tell bigs they mean
  3. littles need play
  4. play helps littles feel safe
  5. other bigs scare littles
  6. our bigs let us be scared
  7. our bigs keep us safe
  8. to come out when safe is good
  9. … No nine … Done.
Writing Part 5

Writing botom of rules, and page

Rules help us be us.

We hide too much. It too scary, but our bigs need to help us come out.

Writing Part 6

Third Page Top

Today our bigs get us some toys to help us come out.

They too small for body but they they help.

Writing Part 7

Thrid Page Bottom (bit missing)

Bigs let us come out. let us play. Let us talk.

Bigs want us to tak on computer.

They may talk for us. They scared little talk as self they get hurt.

Writing Part 8

Writing End…

We try sleep now.

Ni Ni

Littles ask others tomorrow.

Bigs try come back

Hi, trying to come back.  Just writing that brought me into little space again.  It might take a bit to get back to being fully big.

I think that I have really written what I need to here, but in a way I feel like I need to write a little more.

I was in bed, I had started with some music, and we were using our new binky.  Everything is feeling pretty relaxed.  There was a little bit of a “bedtime story” that we read.  It wasn’t really good “little” material, but it wasn’t really bad either, and then we tried to get some sleep.

I’m not sure if we were getting any sleep, but we did get to a point that the littles wanted to do some writing.  I’m not really sure that an “age” quite fits my littles, as some aspects of them are very young (perhaps 0-6 months) while others could be as old as 10 years old.  I’m not sure if there is separation or not.  There have been times that I have “found” littles as old as I think 16.

Initially I didn’t really look to seek any of this out.  It just happened, and I was working through some of my earlier transition stuff (I don’t believe that transition ever really ends).  I had formally gone through an assessment I was “diagnosed with gender identity disorder” and I was rather open with the people at the gender clinic about what I was going through at the time.

At that time, I was desperately hoping to get surgery.  In respect to that, I’m not entirely sure that I was very open about what I was going through.  I gave a lot of information which fits very nicely with the “standard trans narrative”.  I gave some other information about that which I’m not sure how it fits.

Now I identify as non-binary, and part of why I do so, is because I can see that my “others” have genders all over the place.  I have non-binary others, I have male others, I have female others.  Some are cis, some are trans.  Cis and trans don’t necessarily align with the body.

So, not feeling fully back, but gonna leave it there.  Thanks for listening.

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