eBook offered to me on Goodreads

This feels like a really odd way to handle this.  But I think that I am going to do it this way.

Earlier today, I got a message in my email, and it seemed really “odd” to me in that I’ve really only had something like this happen before.  The email?  It was an author on Goodreads who had read my review of Aspergirls, and was offering to provide me with a copy of their book (ebook format).

The book?  Asperger’s on the Inside by Michelle Vines.  The point of the offer was to provide me a book that if I wanted to review it I was free to…

This is my initial impression of it.  I have read the “Introduction” and the “Letter to a Fellow Aspie”.  That letter?  Well it really hit me very hard.  I could read it, but it was incredibly painful.  Especially as most of what she was talking about was “Work” and “Money”.

Why?  Well here I go off on my own, just giving you a bit about me, my day, and my perspectives on the topics which she was talking about.

While she says in the letter, well a lot of things…  I think I’ll just go on where I got “hit” by what she wrote.

Today?  Well I ended up wandering to the “Greater Trail Community Skills Centre”.  I had an appointment down there.  I really did not want to go.  I have been really been frustrated by the lack of sense that there was really any real sense that the job counsellor had a damn bit of understanding about what I am doing, what I am trying to do, things like that…

Previous appointments I have really felt that he really couldn’t understand me.  They have largely felt entirely useless.  The first appointment I fully expected to accomplish pretty much nothing.  At best I was hoping that I would feel that the person I’d made an appointment with, was someone who I felt was a good match for me.

So after the first appointment, I wasn’t really feeling that.  But at least I was not really feeling that it was unlikely that I would be able to really work with him.  So I continued with things.

More appointments.  More talking about what I really want to do, why I want to do it, and whether or not any of this really was likely to move towards actually being able to figure things out.

The counsellor, really didn’t seem to have any idea.  So we get to today…

Today, I am getting ready to go out to the appointment, and feeling “I really don’t want to go in today”.  I really didn’t.  I didn’t expect anything to really come out of the appointment…

I end up getting down about the time I like to get there.  I use the bathroom which is accessed through the coffee shop which is in the same building.  I’m trying to figure out just how much I want to grab before going in to my appointment as I’m heading to, and from the bathroom, and quite literally I am feeling that if I try to consume anything I very much feel like I am highly likely to throw up.

So, on my way into the appointment, I am feeling that I really shouldn’t grab even anything “really” small, so simply head to the Skills Centre.

As usual, I am there at my “just in time” time, which is “15 minutes before my appointment”, let them know what’s going on (that I have an appointment) and sit down.

I can’t even think about reading, or doing anything.  Totally not focusing.

So I sit and wait…

We talk, sort of general “how’s everything going?” type stuff to start off with.  Then really starting to talk about a number of things which I have been doing over the last month.  How I have been working on a number of projects, that none of it really is making any money for me, and how really I have only one client who is even at all active.

He talks to me about how people will end up starting a business, and plugging away at little things, and then as things go, eventually they find a client who really likes what they are doing, and then ends up letting other people know, and things start to work.

Having worked with a number of clients.  And how I really have lost pretty much everyone.  Some of them, I don’t really feel at all upset about.  Because, really I did the work for them.  And then they found ways which things worked for them, without needing me.  This in a lot of ways is really how I want things to work with my clients.

I am not complaining about those who keep coming back.  Feel free to.  Either because you don’t want to do it.  Or I have failed to help you figure out how to do it for yourself.

The counsellor talked about “what could you do different”.  Yes, there are a few things that would have allowed me to better handle a few different issues.  I think that really, those few (relatively rare) situations, where I could have dealt with things differently (and know what I could have done differently) are really pretty rare.

Those things?  Two specific pretty “simple” recommendations:

  1. Meet with all the decision makers for the project as early as possible.
  2. Communicate expectations clearly and in writing if at all possible.
    1. It is highly recommended to have a contract which the client agrees to.

OK.  So…  There was a lot of talk about other things.  Trying to connect with other “possible clients”.  It all stressed the heck out of me.  That is stuff I hate doing.  We talked about my use of Patreon, and what is more likely to actually manage to work in terms of getting that work.

The one thing that seems most clear about what has happened with Patreon is that really the posts about videos, etcetera actually work best in terms of drawing engagement, etcetera.

With that in mind, I started thinking about how to “better handle that”.  And currently, I feel that really I don’t have what I need to create decent quality videos, I simply do not have.  So there was discussion about how to get that stuff together.

This really sounds very promising.  And decided that I would simply go ahead and create a crowdfunding campaign.  So, I try to setup a campaign on Gofundme, and feel like I’m getting the basics together.  But I want to do some modifications of it.  So…  What do I do?  I start trying to get my campaign up and running.

I already clicked all the things to get it working (including sharing the link via email and all that weird stuff) and they are asking me to “verify with two factor authentication” and the only option is to use a phone…

That is use a phone, give them a phone number…  OK.  So I have one phone number which is my own.  Even when I get any service, I am pretty much unable to hear others (and I really don’t know how well people can hear me) unless I am ~80 km away from home…

I decide to delete my account, because I am hugely frustrated…  Every thing I do, this damn thing keeps popping this up, and really it is a frigging mess…

After having deleted my account, I decide I really need to see if there is really any information about why any of this such a frigging mess…

No information, so after a bunch of hoops, I finally figure out how to contact customer support.  I try to explain what the issue is.  And I get a response back “we can’t see you anywhere, so can’t explain what was going on.”  To which while I do respond with information about what might allow them to figure out “what happened”.  The response I get back is mostly generic.  And it doesn’t even address my concerns…

So, I am reading this “Letter to a fellow Aspie” and feeling like I am such a darn mess…  And I decide to write this up.

Currently at this point, I am simply putting this out there.  I know there are a bunch of things I probably should have linked to (particularly my Patreon profile which if you want to support me, please do, I’d really appreciate that)…

And yes.  I am putting this up as a paid post.

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